Cupping the freshly brewed liquid mercy, I padded out of the kitchen. I chuckled at myself wondering why I said “I’m going to put my face in God’s face and see what happens.”
I pulled my little red chair up to God’s throne, knees touching and looked into His face. In that moment God reached out and offered a Holy Hug. Reading from Psalm 139, God reminded me that He knows all my complexities. He is familiar with every aspect of my life, including the ones I don’t pray about or lack the nerve to address.
The complications of my newly diagnosed rare disease (Hypokalemic Periodic Paralysis)
What gene possess this genetic glitch
My ranging emotions
My anxious heart
When I will return to work and to what capacity
My new limitations
When the mortgage is due
If we have to sell the house
If I need a single story wheel chair accessible home
Psalm 139:1-6, 13-18
You have searched me, Lord, and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar.
You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue you, Lord, know it completely.
You hem me in behind and before, and you lay your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.
My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. How precious to me are your thoughts O God! How vast is the sum of them!
Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand— when I awake, I am still with you.
This morning I put my face in God’s face. He leaned in and whispered, “April, I’ve known the end from the beginning. There are no surprise plot twists in your life. I know how complicated everything is. Remember I do all the work. You only need to trust me.”
“We know that in all things God works for the good of those who love
Even though my circumstances are complicated beyond my ability to reason, God is familiar with it all. God knows all about me and I know according to Romans 8:28 God is working it for good. My only responsibility is to trust Him while He does all the work.
Today, I put my face in God’s face. He renewed my peace and “it well with my soul.”
~April Dawn White
Photos courtesy of Pixabay