In the dark kitchen, my head hangs low, the coffee pot gurgles. The aroma of hazelnut energy fills the air. My heart is heavy. I pray.
Today is the day of a cancer treatment, for a family member, of a sweet friend. Another cancer diagnosis among people I know. This makes four now. Lord, this is too much. My dear neighbor’s heart, which is made of gold, is beating irregularly. She just bandgaged up Rachel’s head, Lord bandage her heart! This is too much!
I fill my cup, dark energy brimming. I smile at the hand painted mug. It is one from a set of Emerson Creek mugs we received as a wedding gift, from my friend an artist. Blue Betty, I say to myself, tears streaming down my face. My artist friend comes to mind again, and her lovely painting of her mother Betty, in all hues of blue. I feel blue today.
This is too much.
“Come to me all who are weak and heavily burdened and I will give you rest.” Matthew 11:28
Lord, this is too much, I say. Head hanging low, hands gripping the kitchen sink. Prayers lift and swirl in with the hazelnut aroma, in the dimly lit kitchen. The sun begins to wake.
God directs my mind back to a conversation between He and Moses.
Moses: I can not carry all these people by myself, the burden it too heavy for me.
God: Is the Lord’s arms too short? Numbers 11:23
A different translation in The Message reads:
Moses: I can’t do this myself–it’s too much.
God: So, you think I can’t take care of you?
I am having a Moses moment. This is too much…for me. Not too much for God!
“I’ve Got This!” God says.
I see myself crawling onto God’s lap, resting my head against His shoulder. I feel the rise and fall of His chest as he says to me “April, I’ve got this!” I imagine His mighty throne as a giant rocking chair, we rock back-and-worth, back-and-forth as I tell Him all my burdens. He wraps His arms around me and whispers, “Daddy’s gotcha.”
God’s arms are big enough to hold you AND carry all your burdens.
Spend time with him in prayer and let him whisper to you
“I’ve got this!”