My phone buzzes with a Google notification. I am irked by the reminder that I should be working 8-5 pm today. I’m on a medical leave of absence. Daily paralysis and muscle weakness prevents me from working.
I am annoyed and frustrated. I have worked since I was fifteen years old. I am a first born, type-A personality. I am wired to work and to be productive.
My job is measured in productivity. As a pharmacist, I’m evaluated on how many prescriptions I’ve filled, how many immunizations I’ve administered, and how many MTM’s I’ve completed. All of this is wrapped around providing the best pharmaceutical and patient care. I enjoy my occupation.
Not working is driving me crazy.
Recently, I traveled with a friend to visit another friend in prison. During the drive, I shared, “Feeling unproductive is driving me crazy.”
Sara responded, “April, you don’t have to be active to be productive.”
I realize what’s wrong with me. I am having an identity crisis. I’ve wrapped my identity around my occupation. I’ve always known my career is not who I am, however….. has always been wrapped up with my occupation and who I am and what I’m doing.
With the You Tube Bethel Music Station playing in the background, I cried out to the Lord for help.
“Lord, I’m not working, but what do you want me to do?”
Moments later I hear these words “You don’t have to do a thing, just simply be with me…” Jenn Johnson’s song “A Little Longer” was God’s response to my plea.
My identity crisis occurred because my identity has been wrapped around the wrong who and what. My identity is not who I am or what I do, but rather who He is and what He has done, what He is doing, and He will do.
“But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called “Today,” so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness.” (Hebrews 3:13, NIV)
I am expectant and hopeful to return to work as soon as possible.
But until then I will act upon Sara’s words. “You don’t have to be active to be productive.”
It doesn’t take great physical activity to send encouragement. I can phone a friend, mail a card, text a song, post a promise from God’s Word on Facebook, or to invite someone over for coffee. How can you encourage someone today? Encouragement is contagious. Pass it along.
“So encourage each other and build each other up, just as you are already doing.” (1 Thessalonians 5:11, NLT)
My identity crisis occurred because my identity has been wrapped around the wrong who and what. My identity is not who I am or what I do, but rather who He is and what He has done, what He is doing, and He will do. Understanding who I am in Christ makes “it well with my soul.”
~April Dawn White
Images courtesy of author and Pixabay.com