Feeling betrayed, my mind calculated the loss of income. My employer announced a strategic maneuver to reduce hours. What could we do without? Would we be able to afford the music lessons and tutoring?
I sped along the interstate, giving God a piece of my mind. The ninety minute drive home gave me ample time to hash it out with God. After a while, I drove in silence. Then an inaudible voice whispered “April, what did you pray about this morning?” I rewound my mind and remembered my earlier prayer: “Lord, I’d like to work less or from home.” No! Could it be? Was this an answer to my morning prayer?
Over the past several months I have prayed for God to grant me more margin of time to write. I need more time to grow and develop my writing skills. God answered those initial requests by removing two weekly commitments expanding my time.
Why did I wrestle with this decision? The answer, control and trust. I liked the idea of working less when I was in control, but not when the decision was being forced upon me. Control and trust teeter back and forth in my heart. “April, do you trust me? Will you let me be in control?”
“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.” (Romans 12:2, NIV)
I read this verse with a fresh perspective. I’ve never noticed the if/then clause in this verse. God tells us that if we strategically maneuver our way of thinking, then we will test and see God’s plan, his good, pleasing, and perfect plan.
God replaced my thinking with peace of mind. Now, I see the reduction of hours as God’s strategic maneuvering. I still don’t know how the bills will be paid, but I know that if I keep my mind on Him, I will then see His good and perfect plan. I don’t know what God has up His holy sleeve, but pass the popcorn and Coke, this ought to be good! When have you had to choose to trust God instead of falling victim to fear? How did God deliver you from that scenario?
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